“Don’t Get Old.” But What’s the Alternative?
This past week, I got a glimpse of aging that I wasn't quite prepared for.
At 3 a.m. on Monday morning, my phone rang.
It was the nursing home where my mom lives. She had spiked a high fever and was showing symptoms concerning enough that they were sending her to the emergency room.
Eventually, we learned she had a severe UTI and needed to be admitted to the hospital.
I was three hours away.
So I did what daughters do. I packed up and headed home, not knowing exactly what I was driving into or what her prognosis would be.
Thankfully, my mom responded well to treatment. Within a few days, she was sitting up, talking and sounding much more like herself.
But before we got there, life had another surprise waiting for us.
And Then There Was Dad
The day I arrived home, my dad wanted to go to the cemetery.
The headstone he had ordered had recently been installed, and he wanted to see it.
There's something surreal about standing beside your father while he looks at his own headstone.
We saw it, talked for a few minutes and then started walking back toward the car.
And that's when he fell.
One moment he was walking beside me.
The next, he was on the ground.
I called 911, and suddenly I was following another ambulance to another emergency room.
Two parents - Two emergency rooms -Two days.
Several hours later, we learned that my dad had fractured his orbital bone and cheekbone.
And somewhere in the middle of all of this, I found myself thinking about how strange aging is.
Aging Happens Slowly... Until It Doesn't
We don't wake up one morning and suddenly become old.
It happens almost imperceptibly.
A little less strength.
A little more difficulty getting up from the floor.
A little less balance.
Another medication.
Another doctor's appointment.
Maybe we stop doing something we used to do without even realizing we've stopped doing it.
Until one day, something happens and you realize just how much life has changed.
I've been watching that transition happen with my parents.
And if I'm being truthful, sometimes it's difficult to reconcile the people I see today with the people I remember from my childhood.
They were the adults.
They took care of everything.
They drove the car. They made the decisions. They worked. They raised a family. They took care of me.
And now I'm helping take care of them.
Life has a funny way of turning the tables.
“Don't Get Old”
During all of this, I was talking with my aunt.
She and my uncle weren't able to come visit because they had health concerns and doctor's appointments of their own.
And she jokingly said something we've probably all heard:
“Don't get old.”
I knew exactly what she meant.
But the words stayed with me.
Because what's the alternative?
If we're fortunate, we will get old.
And I want to.
I want more birthdays.
I want more adventures.
I want more dinners with people I love.
I want more trips, more laughter, more mornings when I wake up excited about what's ahead.
I don't want to fear aging.
But I do want to think differently about it.
What If We Prepared for Aging Instead of Feared It?
We prepare for so many things in life.
We save for retirement.
We plan vacations.
We maintain our homes.
We service our cars.
We make financial plans for a future that's decades away.
But how often do we intentionally prepare the body that has to carry us into that future?
That's a question I think about a lot these days.
Especially in midlife.
Because this season isn't simply about getting through menopause, losing a few pounds or trying to look younger.
It's an opportunity to ask:
What kind of older woman do I want to become?
I want to be able to carry my groceries.
Get myself off the floor.
Travel.
Walk up a flight of stairs.
Play with the people I love.
Live independently for as long as possible.
Have the energy to participate in my own life.
None of us gets to choose exactly what aging will look like.
Genetics matter.
Illness happens.
Accidents happen.
Life happens.
There are no guarantees.
But that doesn't mean we're powerless.
The Space Between Getting Old and the Alternative
Maybe that's what my aunt's comment really made me think about.
There's a whole lot of LIFE between getting older and the alternative.
And I want to fill that space well.
That's why the things we're doing in our 40s, 50s and 60s matter.
Strength training isn't only about changing how our bodies look. We're building and preserving muscle that can help us remain capable as we age.
Eating well isn't about chasing a number on the scale. We're giving our bodies the nutrients they need to function.
Prioritizing protein, sleep, movement, stress management, social connection and our emotional well-being isn't about achieving some impossible version of “perfect health.”
It's about stacking the odds in our favor.
It's about doing what we can with what we can control.
My Parents Have Changed the Way I Think About My Own Aging
I've talked before about how my own midlife journey changed the relationship I have with my health.
But watching my parents age has added another layer.
I don't exercise simply because I want to fit into my clothes.
I want strong legs because I want them to carry me places when I'm 80.
I care about my bones because I understand how devastating a fall can become later in life.
I care about nutrition because I want energy and resilience.
I care about sleep, stress and connection because health is so much bigger than what we weigh.
And I keep learning because I know the woman I'm becoming is being shaped, at least in part, by the decisions I'm making today.
That's not fear.
For me, it's empowerment.
Your Future Self Is Being Built Today
Maybe you're reading this at 45.
Maybe you're 55, 65 or beyond.
Wherever you are, I don't believe the goal should be to fight aging.
And I certainly don't believe we should spend these years desperately trying to look 25 again.
I want something much more valuable than that.
I want healthspan, not simply lifespan.
More years when I can move.
More years when I can think clearly.
More years when I can make my own decisions.
More years when I can say YES to life.
And while none of us can guarantee ourselves that future, we can start investing in it.
One walk.
One strength-training session.
One nourishing meal.
One good night's sleep.
One doctor's appointment we stop putting off.
One boundary.
One meaningful conversation.
One decision at a time.
You don't have to overhaul your entire life tomorrow.
You just have to start thinking about the woman you want to be 10, 20 or 30 years from now—and ask yourself:
What can I do today to take care of her?
Because yes, I plan to get old.
I just want to do everything within my control to make those years as strong, independent and vibrant as possible.
And I hope you do, too. ❤️
Ready to Invest in Your Future Self?
You don’t have to change everything overnight. Sometimes you just need a place to start.
The 21-Day Vibrant Midlife Reset is designed to help you get intentional about the things you can influence—how you nourish your body, move, support your energy, and create simple habits that help you feel better today while investing in the years ahead.
If you’re ready to stop saying “I need to get back on track” and actually take that first step, I’d love to have you join us.
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